Let me begin by saying… wait, maybe I should begin by listening…

Standard

First. This is expected for everyone. Non-Christian and Christian alike.

I’m a 41-year-old recovering pastor trying to rediscover myself in this great and amazing world that surrounds me. The arts, family, nature, food, music and my faith. I started in pro ministry when I was 18, but have been in “church work” my whole life – mom and dad pastors in a large mainline denomination, grandparents are missionary evangelist, aunts, uncles, cousins – all in ministry to this day. I’ve been blanketed, fed, surrounded, drenched and sometimes drowned in this faith that I love so much. I have always loved my faith, but have not always loved the way that I loved my faith, especially when I was professionally representing it within the structure known as the church. And I have not always loved that church and I have not always liked those that call themselves Christians, including myself.  So, this is my apology to all of you for my part.

It’s not my place to apologize for anyone else or even claim that anyone else should apologize. It’s only my place to apologize for the wrongs I’ve performed in attempting to show you the love of the God I’ve experienced.

I’m not going to apologize for the typical or expected. I’m going to apologize for the ways I feel I was a part of sharing the example I was expected to share. And I’m going to do it over a series of blogs. So here goes the first shot… (oh, and I’m no writer)

1. I’m sorry I haven’t listened. I have spent so many years reading books, attending seminars, attending strategy meetings, having discussion with other pro ministry specialists about how to reach all of you guys. It really makes me sad how much time and resource has been spent on “studying” why we can’t reach all of the folks that aren’t being touched by what “the church” has to offer.

I’m not even going to begin to list the chapters, volumes, titles, publishers that have devoted millions of dollars to explaining to us how we could reach the postmodern, gen this, gen that, hipster, episodic, etc. cultures that are out there today. But what I am going to do is apologize for not balancing my time better and not spending more of it with you.

I should have spent more of my time sitting with you and listening to what your struggles were with what we call the Gospel. I should have listened to what you were dealing with day-to-day. I should have spent my money on the causes you believed in instead of another book. I should have invited you to sit with my team to help us figure out how we were going to engage culture and I really should have listened.

You are a very important part of this creation. You have your heart, soul, life in the midst of this world. You are engaged in what is happening with folks every single day. You know what is needed.

I’m sorry that I just read about a need on the streets and sent a check or came in with all my answers, rather than sit down with you  and really find out what is needed.

Here is my pledge to you. I’m not perfect, but I will strive for Christ perfection. I will listen. I will devote my time to being present with you. I will stop coming with answers and instead come to assist in needs. I engage in the already existing culture, I will embrace who you are and not expect you to become who I am. You, after all, are as much a creation of God as I am, if not more of one. Together we will make true change happen.

I believe one of the steps we have to take in bringing the church back to life is to invest in life. Not to invest in books and seminars. I believe we have to invest in time on the streets, in the homes and by the sides of those living every day life and not in our offices, our conference rooms and on our screens.

I’m sorry and hope to see you in the market, on the street, in the club, in the coffee house, at the game, at the party, in the tattoo parlor and maybe some day in the church.

That’s what the man named Jesus that I’ve studied and say I attempt to emulate did.

Can’t wait to share my next apology. Have an awesome and blessed one.

JB